The rules of dating in a modern society for high school students

Dating 20 years ago consisted of walking to the door to pick up a date and being a respectful person in every way, but luckily it’s better now thanks to social media, rap songs, and other pop culture things. Dating in 2018 consists of artificial texts and reassuring one another by posting on social media. Such actions are vital to having a healthy relationship in the 21st century. If you and your partner do not live by them, then your relationship is doomed.

Here are some rules that all teenagers should know:

1. When the date arrives to pick his lady up, there is no need for him to go to the door. A simple “here” text or honk of the horn will suffice. It is just too much work for a guy to have to open his car door and walk all of the way to your front door. You do not want an exhausted date.
2. When in the car on the way to said ‘date,’  there is no need to converse. Just make sure the music is up to at a volume of at least 30 and that the bass is as high as it can get. Conversation is trivial, and in no way necessary in a relationship, except for the mandatory “sup” when you enter the vehicle.
3. If you are lucky enough to have a partner that has his music to the correct volume, at least 30 with bass all of the way up, then a “here” text is not even necessary and will save your date the trouble of texting you, because his presence will be audible from a mile away.
4. While on said ‘date,’ conversation is not an important factor either, and it is not valued at all. Your date is to be on his phone the entire time, leaving you both to be scrolling through Twitter for three hours.
5. If your partner cheats on you, it is completely your fault. His actions are never his own fault: it is either yours or the person that he cheated on you with. How could you blame him for something as simple as kissing his brother’s girlfriend?
6. Lastly, if your significant other, and I say that lightly, does not post you on all of his social media accounts, then he does not really love you. It is mandatory, and a well-known dating fact. You need to post the one you ‘love’ at least four times a week with a sappy, over-exaggerated caption and at least 25 love related emojis. If not, your relationship is completely invalid and everyone’s time is wasted.

When it comes to dating in today’s society, your best bet is to just stay single for 20 years until your peers have matured (hopefully).