Being a modern day conservative gal

The following satire is, in fact, satirical. Read with caution.

If you take offense to any of these rules, you are the problem.

1. If you post your opinion on social media, you will automatically be labeled as a racist bigot that has no heart.
2. When giving a Republican candidate your vote, you automatically give up your rights as a woman.
3. If you’re a conservative girl, your comments on anything and everything become irrelevant. You will immediately be shut down because you’re so unintelligent, oh, and racist.
4. Sorry gals, your opinion was not formed on your own. You are only conservative because your daddy is. That is also why your mom votes for the Republican candidate. We just can’t make decisions on our own.
5. If you support the second amendment, you probably own a gun, it’s probably pink, and you probably don’t know how to use it. But it sure is cute.
6. As a conservative gal, you are by no means allowed to march in stance of being pro-life, and you are ABSOLUTELY not to criticize those whose beliefs differ from yours. When registering as Republican, you vow to keep silent.
7. You’re not allowed to feel empowered by women’s posts because you’re not a liberal and, well, you hate women. Never, and I mean NEVER, post an inspirational quote or photo about being an empowered woman. You will be considered a hypocrite because, again, you hate women.
8. As a conservative woman, who again knows nothing about guns, you also do not know what the word “control” means. You think guns will be taken away tomorrow at 4 p.m.
9. You can’t mourn over Paul Ryan retiring. You don’t even know who he is. He is an actor or something, right?

Sorry ladies, you’re a menace to society. This is why we didn’t get voting rights until 1920.

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