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“That’s the real problem with the world, too many people grow up.” -Walt Disney

I don’t remember the day I realized that I’m growing up. It wasn’t the day I started my junior year, it wasn’t my 16th birthday, and it wasn’t the day I got behind the wheel of a car; it was more of a gradual realization.

One day a person is dreaming about his or her future then shortly after, it actually arrives. I know most teenagers have heard that expression or something similar because of One Tree Hill (just to clarify, I’m not into binge-watching on Netflix).

Somewhere beneath the birthday balloons and streamers, people forget that every day we are creeping toward an older age. Time never slows down.

I still remember sitting in my playroom as a little girl and playing school. I usually took the role of the teacher because obviously I was qualified to teach stuffed animals about geography. In the fall, I would help my Daddy rake leaves then back up far away as I could from the pile and run quickly in order to dive in. On the weekends, I loved to drive my Barbie Jeep through my backyard, down my neighborhood streets, and pretend to blow a horn that was, much to my dismay, not included when the ride-on toy was manufactured.

Flash forward a few years and everything is different. My days of playing school are over and as much homework as I’m weighted down with, I don’t think they’re ever going to return. I don’t rake leaves anymore, but I do still run. However, I run solely for the purpose of staying in shape and I try my hardest to avoid anything that interferes with my mileage. My Barbie Jeep has been parked for good, or maybe sold (not really sure), and the only thing I want rolling up in my driveway on my birthday is a real car with a real horn.

Now, my focus is on my GPA and SAT scores, what colleges I should apply for, how to pass my AP Exam, what career I want to pursue, where I’m going to live, and what comes after college graduation.

I don’t have a problem with spending some extra time studying or having to complete “big girl” tasks. I’m okay with the realization that I will have to leave my town and home in two Septembers and start all over again.

Growing up feels like freedom to me, but sometimes, it’s the hardest thing I witness. See, there is a certain beauty about children that cannot be matched by any other age. They are so innocent and full of life. They have a spark in their eyes and an imagination that gives them a desire to fulfill their dreams, however big they may be. Children are more satisfied with a stick than a billionaire is with a mansion.

The most important trait that children possess is forgiveness. They don’t hold grudges for long because that would cut into their play time with Mommy and Daddy. They acknowledge that their friends say things that hurt, but realize that they are guilty of that, too.

I see a broken world now that aches and craves to once more see the perspective of that of a child who is tucked-in at night, sung lullabies, and greeted in the morning with pancakes.

On the other hand, cynical people will say that girls and boys are foolish and will become just as pessimistic as they are once reality hits.

I like to disagree with that.

There is always a part of me, as with everybody else, which will remain full of childlike wonder and joy despite all the pain I will experience. This part of me is revealed at Christmas when I gaze upon my tree or buy my sister a gift I know she will love. I feel like a 12-year-old all over again when I listen to Emblem 3’s “Chloe.” I can’t help but remember my childhood on snow days when I watch my younger neighbors sled down the hill.

If I must admit, I still build snowmen sometimes and watch Rudolph. I still like to color and I’m especially thankful that adult coloring books are all the rage now so I won’t look like a total baby.

Aging is inevitable and desires change as people get older, which is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, it would be quite concerning if the whole world was still playing with toys and going to bed at 8PM. But, I believe growing out of kindness, an accepting nature, and a sense of uniqueness is a choice.

If I want to grow up to be the best person I can be, I need to remember who I initially was.

I was a wide-eyed, optimistic little girl who believed in the goodness of life.

I still do.